Reservations About Reservations

5 signs you don't comprehend the concept of Reservations.

1. You call smack-dab in the busiest time of the evening for a reservation two months away. (Idiot! Try calling another time when I'm not juggling three plates and a room full of patrons.)
2. You call and ask "Should I make a reservation tonight". (Are you f---ing kidding me right now? Well, now I'm not a genius, but if you are planning on coming in for dinner, and you are wasting my time asking if you should make a reservation - why don't you JUST MAKE THE F---ING RESERVATION. Hello! Is anybody home?)
3. You know how to make the dinner reservation, but you don't know how to keep the dinner reservation. (Enough said.)
4. You think you have a reservation, but you don't know what name the reservation is under. (Moron, it takes time to go down the reservation list, narrow it down by time and number in the party, and then rhyme off the names until you finally recongize one! Like I've got nothing better to do.)
5. You know that you are early for a reservation, so you decide to have a drink at the bar while you are waiting for the rest of your party to arrive. Funny thing is, after 30 minutes you are still waiting. Hmmm. I wonder what the problem could be... You pick up your cell phone and call your friends wondering where they are and what is keeping them - only to find out that you have the WRONG RESTARUANT! (I think about taking my own life!)

Advice for the Day:

If you want to come in for dinner, and wish to reserve a table:
1. Make the reservation. Try to call when we aren't in the middle of the dinner rush. Actually making the reservation helps us to have adequate staff, and to set up your table in advance.
2. Know what time the reservation is, and under what name. It also helps to know the number in the party...and calling 1 hour before you are due to arrive to let us know that the party of 15 has now dwindled down to 6 people is not polite.
3. Keep the reservation. "No shows" are "No brains". We draw obscene pictures beside your name in the Reservation Book - for all the world to see. Take that!